Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
