i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
