biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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