put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
