i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
