At least make sure they are 18
Why
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Randomize
