my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Randomize
