dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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