Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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