im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
