I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
