quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
How external is "for external use only"?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
