Pappa wants mamma naked
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
