Pants 0. Shit 1.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
