stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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