I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
