I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
