Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
