escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
