i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
