Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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