nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
