Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
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