so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
