I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
