Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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