I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
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