You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
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