He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
