Pappa wants mamma naked
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
How external is "for external use only"?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
