If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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