i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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