someone threw a dead crab at me
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
