Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
