I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
