You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
It's official drugs can't kill me
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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