im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
