woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
