I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
