i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
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she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize