i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
