Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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