just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
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The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize