You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
