You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
