there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
