What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
