nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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