She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
