What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
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