I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
