Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
