a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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