i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
