i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
two words: eviction party
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
