That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
