I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
