My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
